


I hate you.

by sackville_west



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Inspired by Euphoria (TV 2019), LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Rules, Smut, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:33:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27836095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sackville_west/pseuds/sackville_west
Summary: Jules wants to apologize for leaving Rue on the train platform, but Rue's livid.
Relationships: Rue Bennett/Jules Vaughn
Comments: 5
Kudos: 90





	I hate you.

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda the beginning of something, I'll think about writing a second chapter if people like this/express interest. Maybe change it around a bit depending on the two new episodes.

It had been two weeks since Jules left, and Rue was starting to feel less dependent on the drugs she’d been taking to distract herself from that fact. The haze gradually being replaced by an all-embracing rage. Jules had been texting her since the night of the dance, but Rue had yet to respond, Jules’ texts becoming increasingly desperate in tone. The last one simply read, “please forgive me. please”

Jules had just gotten back to her father’s house and after a, probably too feeble, reprimand she snuck out to see Rue. Rue’s mother answered the door, “I don’t think she wants to see anyone right now. I’m sorry, honey.” Rue had told her mother not to let Jules in, and in an effort to keep Rue calm her mother agreed.

“Ok, thanks,” Jules replied, tearing up a bit, staring down at her platform shoes. But after walking down the driveway to make it appear as if she was leaving, picking up her bike on the way, Jules veered to the right of the house, dropping her bike in the bushes and knocking softly on Rue’s window.

“Rue, please,” she begged. Rue looked up naturally at the sound of Jules’ voice, then scolded herself for it. But her anger had hardened her to Jules’ pleas, even while still susceptible to the way Jules said her name.

“Leave,” she said sternly, looking Jules in the eye, then turning around back towards the next reality show she had occupied herself with.

“Please,” Jules asked again. “Please, just open the window. I love you, Rue. Let me explain.”

Rue didn’t look up again. "No, no fuckin' way," she murmured to herself, clenching her fists.

“Rue, pl-plea-” Jules’ voice broke from its usual confidence, and Rue’s instincts betrayed her again, looking up at the window.

“What do you want with me anyways? I’m just gonna hold you back.” Rue responded, a bit too loudly, getting up and wrestling the window open then backing away.

“Of course not, I didn’t mean to like... make you feel that way. That’s not true. I just felt like at had to- to go, things were so fucked. And I thought you were gonna come, it was your idea.”

“It wasn’t my idea for you to fuckin' leave me there!” Rue exclaimed, pointing in the general direction of the station.

“I know, I’m sorry! I’m so- sorry,” she stammered, climbing through the window, then stumbling a bit to the ground, picking herself up, and brushing herself off.

“Did I ask you to come in!”

“Please Rue,” Jules walked towards her as she spoke.

Rue stood her ground, until they were face to face.

“I couldn’t go with you, and you left." Rue had never really been mad at Jules before, in fact she didn’t know she was capable of it. It was an overwhelming feeling, intermixed with the care and bridled lust she felt for Jules usually. Rue was sweating and could feel her heart at her ribs, pulsing against her arm. It was a feeling she knew well.

“I didn't want to hurt you, I’m so sorry. I felt like I couldn’t be here anymore and I wanted to go _with you_.” Jules reached over to wipe the tears from Rue's face, but she recoiled.

“Exactly… and I couldn’t- couldn-” Rue’s voice softened, as she tried to pull herself together. “I couldn’t go. I’m fuckin' useless. Fuck... just leave,” she said looking away.

“Is that what you want?” Jules replied, afraid of the answer.

Rue hesitated. “No,” she whispered.

Jules leaned closer, Rue finally looking her in the eye. "I missed you," said Jules.

Jules craned her neck and kissed Rue softly, Jules’ hands still nervous at her side, afraid to reach for her friend.

Rue’s heart skipped a beat, but still mad, she broke the kiss, pulling her head back. Jules furrowed her brow, and the disappointment in her eyes gave Rue a kind of wistful satisfaction, and she half smirked, betraying herself.

As she leaned back in she heard Jules’ voice in her head, _why don’t you like kiss, kiss me?_ and she was angry again, she was angry that Jules’ wanted more from her, more than she felt capable of—disgusted by her own ‘fragility,’ her impotence, her helplessness.

Rue stepped forward kissing Jules with an urgency that held these feelings on her lips. She placed her hands on Jules’ hips, holding them firmly with her thumbs on Jules’ hip bones, pulling her close.

“Rue-” chirped Jules.

This pushed Rue over a previously unacknowledged edge and she wrapped her left arm around Jules’ waist and carefully pushed her up against the wall, Rue catching them both with her right hand, her rings making a loud clang on contact. She then explored a bit sucking a little on Jules' bottom lip as they kissed, Jules happily letting her lead.

Jules’ hands had found their way to Rue’s face, her fingers wrapped in Rue’s curls at the back of her neck.

Jules let out a quiet, but high pitched, moan as Rue bit Jules’ lip and she stroked Rue’s jawline with her thumb.

Rue’s breath hitched and she pulled away just long enough to bitterly growl, “I fuckin' hate you,” into Jules' ear. Rue was pressed up against her body now, standing between Jules' legs. Rue's heart was pounding, as her needy fingers found their way into Jules’ shirt, cupping her breast with her hand, Jules’ nipple resting on the center of Rue's palm, the teasing friction leading her to instinctually squeeze a bit.

Jules let out another moan, a bit lower pitched this time, and Rue squeezed harder, reinforcing her hold on Jules up against the wall. “I love you,” Jules breathed. “I hate you,” Rue protested, helplessly, invisible tears welling up in her eyes.

After a moment Rue realized she could feel Jules against her thigh, a stiffness that wasn’t there before, and her brain muddled itself with nervousness and excitement—still kissing Jules, overly absorbed in the task, drawing herself closer. “Take this off,” she pleaded, tugging at Jules' sweater. She obeyed, smiling, taking it as a sign of something, even if it wasn't forgiveness.

Rue’s hands found their way to Jules thighs and wrapped around their softness, using the leverage of the wall to hitch her up around Rue’s waist, surprising Jules as she gasped a bit.

“Wow, look at you zaddy,” Jules teased playfully rapping a curl around her finger as Rue blushed and hid her face in Jules' breasts, shuffling them to the bed. Rue’s anger melting as the flirtation between them returned.

Rue hovered over Jules, propped up by her elbows as they kissed, until Rue pulled away and came up on her knees, still between Jules’ legs, as a wave of nervousness ran over her.

“I- I don’t think I can- um. I don’t think I’m ready to- I’m afraid- I’m gonna be bad at it- I don’t- uh…” Rue stuttered.

Already having gotten more than Jules thought she had the right to ask for, she responded in-kind. “Shhhhh, it’s ok.”

There was silence for a minute as Rue ran her fingers through her hair, finally resting her hands on her face, exasperated with herself.

“It’s ok,” said Jules again, reaching for her, “I love you.”

Rue melted back into Jules' arms. “I love you, too.”

Jules swelled with relief.

They kissed a bit more, then fell asleep. Rue’s nose buried deep in Jules’ hair, her arms wrapped around her. 


End file.
